Allie-Millie

Alicia Millkington awoke. She'd slept through the alarm, blinking she did not recognise her surroundings, not where she ought to be when she'd gone to bed over 8 hours earlier. It was silent in the unfamiliar environment, eerie and still, she sat bolt upright and screamed.







Silence. There was silence and a stillness. The walls seemed to stare back at her cold and unfeeling. With a ringing in her ears and her heart thumping she stumbled out of bed, venturing to where her door, her bedroom door ought to be.

Before she could get to where she thought was her exit, she stared down at herself and froze. Where were her long tresses of hair? What were those bumps on her chest?  Who owned the clothes she was wearing?

With her heart thumping, she screamed and flung open the door only to find her familiar surroundings, her kitchen and her book shelves were not there.

Instead before her was a series of openings expanding before her, in murky lighting. Wretched she screamed and ran around the space, which she knew as her living room searching for familiarity, her landline, Samson her cat, the switch to her heater, her TV or PC. Nothing, there was nothing in the unfamiliarity of this existence she had arrived at to reassure her that she was in her home.

She fell onto the hard surface. In a crumpled heap she sobbed uncontrollably and screamed; a shrill ringing pinged in her ears and she realised this strange sound was coming from a place deep within her - a place not known to her until now.

And then there was silence. A deafening nothingness pervaded the space; a stillness which hung in the air like a blanket of haze, enveloping Alicia and causing an outpouring of grief so overwhelming she lost consciousness.

Time was irrelevant for she moved as in a dream-like state, was she awake, or was she sleeping? Grappling with these thoughts, she moved towards the entrance closest to her and walked through its opening, a rounded white-coloured enclave. Her senses heightened, Alicia observed the walls and ceiling, tiny bumps covered its surface and it reminded her of goose bumps; those pimply spots appearing on her skin when she'd experienced strong emotions such as fear.

That was in her other life and time where life was predictable, normal and routine. Not like here.

She continued through the enclave, twisting and turning, with its precise directions; a relentless and endless tunnel of space and time unfolding before her. In the murky light, she began to make out shapes, photos and words on the walls. She stopped in her tracks and moved closer to the static mediums presented before her so as to read their context.

'Ice-Chill - Kai' - June 5 2013 - "I've been walking on the windswept cliffs of County Clare, a solitary afternoon rugged up against the biting arctic winds..."

Her eyes moved across the wall to photos where faces and landscapes of the world as she knew it flickered back at her in the shaded light. Alicia continued along the windy passage stopping to view another static medium; presenting a person's existence through words, photos and stories of family and loved ones. There was no other interaction, no human contact or voice engaging with Alicia, just a ghostly presence someone existed, somewhere in the ether of Alicia's current reality.

She continued along the windy passage not knowing her destination or where she had arrived. The surreality of the moment jolted her into a reality. This now was her reality. She fretted for her old life, her sense of security for this new world she was navigating had nothing of this. It held nothing for her except a void, an emptiness and longing which felt like an eternal weight where time no longer existed.

Suddenly leaping out before her was her own static medium; her old life as she knew it, photos of the person she knew to be herself beaming back at her from where she stood in the windy, soulless enclave of her existence.

Allie-Millie flashed across the wall and appeared under Alicia's profile photo. Alicia recognised herself, yet she was different. Her flowing mane was gone and in its place was a shorter haircut.

She was dressed in a tight-fitting T-Shirt which shaped a buxom chest which in her past life Alicia did not covet, being flat-chested she chose to wear baggy, loose-fitting tops, giving no mind to her sexuality.

Pressed for a desire to be close and connect with her old life she touched the name and within a flash, she felt herself slipping into a labyrinth of darkness, tumbling and twirling through a maze of energetic wilderness which had no start or ending. It was just another fantastic journey to endure without any plot or connection to any semblance of life she knew to be true.

Suddenly she was motionless, sounds of traffic and people talking startled her for all she had recently been subjected to was a deadening silence in a lonely chasm of time. The noises aroused her from her semi-slumbering consciousness and she awoke to the familiarity of her surrounds.

A sliver of light from the outside world cast a soft and warm glow on her blankets and the gentle hum of the heater igniting on its timing soothed her ravaged mind.

Samson's quiet meow and gentle nuzzling on her cheek felt like a nourishing bowl of soup on a mid-winter's night. She snuggled down under the blankets, revelling in normalcy, routines and the comforts afforded from a regular life.






Image courtesy of foto76 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reframing

Hello,

I trust you are having a good year and dealing with life's stresses; if you're struggling a bit, you may find the below tips helpful.

These techniques will help you to better manage strong emotional reactions to life events, relationship difficulties and general interactions with people we all encounter as we go about our daily lives.

Sometimes it's our reaction to circumstances, situations or challenging life events which is the key to dealing with difficult and emotionally distressing situations.

Dealing with negative consequences as a result of an argument, a difficult interaction with a boss or an unexpected confrontation in a rational and matter-of-fact manner helps us to feel empowered and in control of our emotional life.

This approach has many benefits. Since we are in control of our emotions and thoughts, this helps us to feel ultimately in control of our lives. We can become calmer and better equipped to deal with challenging circumstances, so that our relationships with lovers, friends, as parents and importantly with ourselves can be enhanced.

Like anything, developing new thought patterns and habits takes perseverance. It takes time to establish new patters of behaviour.

The key is persistence and in the words of Napoleon Hill (Think & Grow Rich) - the following reinforces this:

There is no substitute for persistence. The person who makes persistence his Watch-word discovers that 'old-man failure' finally becomes tired & makes his departure. Failure cannot cope with persistence.

So you're asking how do I deal with this; the consequences of an argument, an unexpected negative interaction with a boss or simply with a driver who has cut us off in traffic.

It's about reframing. It about reframing negative thoughts. Sometimes we internalise negative self-talk because we're insecure, we're under the weather, we're battered by our emotional life - no-one teaches us about emotions; how to deal with them; that they're important to acknowledge.

Some techniques will be posted shortly.

A New Year

Hello everyone, apologies for the delay. It's good to be back.

Firstly, welcome to 2014, may you have a great ride this year and/or a steady year. Sometimes the unassuming years are the best, raising families, nurturing relationships and simply enjoying the small things in life.

Yesterday we had the most awesome weather. The temperature was absolutely perfect, with the hint of a gentle breeze caressing my face and rustling my fringe, the cool welcoming sensation under my hair line soothed away the tiny beads of sweat which had collected under the canopy of my thick hair. It gave me a sense of solace and contentment to enjoy this sensation along with the warmth of the sun pleasantly touching my arms as I drove along the highway. Listening to Peter Tosh and Mick Jagger's - 'Don't Look Back,' added an additional exquisite layer to the moment as the music kindled a deep emotional response in me.

The words were a reminder to me to not dwell on the past, to focus on the present and to move forward. Have you ever observed while being a passenger in a car or riding on a train how quickly the countryside flashes past you.
I recall travelling by rail in Sweden how the acres of yellow crops of Oilseed fields, flashed by as we moved swiftly towards our destination on the speedy rail. Likewise, I visualise unpleasant memories as if they are flashing through my mind as I swiftly move forward to wherever it is I am heading.

Often times it is the journey which is an integral part of our experiences as we head towards our destinations.

I physically felt uplifted yesterday, driving along the highway by both the physical and emotional sensations I was experiencing in that moment. I truly felt what it meant to live in the moment, with the past and future completely non-existent in that time. I felt very calm and centred. My mind was clear and my heart was beating so quietly and rythmically, I was barely conscious of my breathing.

The roads were quiet and I thought the moment was uncompromisingly flawless. To gain such pleasure out of such simplicity truly made me appreciate my sensitive nature. While wonderful for moments like it, being sensitive can be a curse as criticism or not-so-grand comments, hurled at you are felt deeply.

I think developing a mental toughness helps to manage the downsides to having a sensitive nature. Mental toughness is about acknowledging the pain but it's also just about dealing with it. Dealing with it by knowing it's there but simply just getting on with life. Getting up in the morning and keeping to routines acts as a distraction.

Another term for mental toughness is resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity and to be solid at your core. Resilience can be developed - more on this soon.